Unread mail
by Dark Fire Angel
Summary: Years after her adventure, Chihiro lives a normal life... till she starts getting strange emails from someone she knew long ago. After this, she starts feeling a presence and will meet her ghost guardian. ChihiroHaku
1. I have returned

**Unread mail   
By: Dark fire angel**   
  
DFA: My first try at a spirited away fanfic O_o; everyone RUN now! *Sweatdrop* anyhow… this is a little idea I had right after I finished watching that movie *Glomps the movie* Gods, such a good film… this will probably turn into a multi-chaptered fic if people wish so ^^ *Does a V sign and walks off*   
  
Disclaimer: Yeah yeah… me no own Haku, Chihiro etc… -_-; Sad but true *Twitch* Actually that's one more thing to add to my list of 'things I dun own' *Wail*   
~ - ~ - ~ - ~   
  
There is but only one way to make things happen… one must wish for them to occur with all his or her might, otherwise… time passes and promises are forgotten. Nothing to change the world and it's normal everyday business will ever happen. Days indeed passed by, but Chihiro never forgot Haku's promise, living every day with the hope of somehow being able to see him again, however… still the barrier remained, and although she was sure that more than once she had felt him, it was always a dream.   
  
Dreams were food for the soul, and Chihiro had to make herself strong to continue her everyday life. Five years had gone by and still she awaited, certain that not only would he come as he had promised, but he would stay with her. That was her hope and dream… a dream she wished to fulfil soon. However, what she didn't know was that she'd fulfil it soon enough, although not in the way she would have thought she would at all.   
  
"Chihiro!"   
  
Her mother's voice called to her from downstairs, pulling her out of her thoughts, and the girl had to race out of her room to look over the railing of the stairs to answer the call, "I'm still here mum! Weren't you going to go shop? It'll get late if you don't go now!" she was vaguely aware of her mother shouting something back to her before she heard the door close.   
  
Alone again. That was her sin and her misery… as much as she tried, she was always alone, no one standing beside her and no one holding her up for support, "No one's ever there when I wake up," she muttered as she shook her head, going back to her room to switch her computer on, "No one…"   
  
The girl sat on her chair and waited for the machine to get started, all the while thoughts lost elsewhere without hope. Her thoughts would have stayed there had a warning message not popped up on her screen, "Huh?" she blinked and clicked it.   
  
_You have new mail._   
  
Again she blinked, mostly from the confusion she was feeling. Mail? How come she had mail? She had only recently got the stupid machine… so how could she have mail? She had no idea, and that only made her more curious. Frowning slightly at the flashing message, she clicked at it again, making the mailbox show up, "I wonder what's going on…"   
  
_You have a total of 1 unread messages in tray._   
  
"Well then, let's go see who mailed me," Chihiro had developed a strange necessity to talk to herself most of the time. Hearing her own voice made her feel somewhat less lonely, although she knew it'd never fill the hole she had inside her… it still helped though. Even if it was only an imaginary company, her voice had something that she liked in it; it reminded her of her dreams and adventures in that far away land so long ago.   
  
She couldn't help but gulp slightly as she clicked her way into the new unread mail, for some reason certain that there was something almost magical and mystical about it all. Sighing in order to calm herself down, she clicked once more, successfully opening the message, however, the moment she read the words, she jumped from her chair, stepping back from her computer.   
  
_I promised you we'd meet again. I am now here, did you wait for me?   
  
~ Kohaku_   
  
Nothing more, nothing less to it… it had no sender address and no mail address attached to it. Nothing… all that was in the mail were those words, but Chihiro needed no more to know whom it was from, "Haku…" she breathed as she took a look around her room, something telling her she was not as alone as she had once thought she was. This could be no joke, for she had never told anyone about Haku, Rin, Yubaba and the others… it had always been her dream; her secret paradise, her mystery, only hers.   
  
The computer screen still flashed with the mail the auburn haired girl had read, but she wasn't paying attention to it by now, instead she searched her surroundings with her gaze… unshed tears threatening to spill soon, "Haku, is it really you? Why can't I see you?" her voice was a hoarse and almost broken whisper, for she already knew the answer to her own question; he was a spirit, and there are many things a spirit can do… but this was not one of them it seemed. However, even though her brain acknowledge this, her heart didn't, and thus she tempt on searching the room, unable to find anything.   
  
_I am now here, did you wait for me?_   
  
She looked back at the computer screen and read that line once and once again, her tears by now flowing, "Hai, I waited, how could I have not?" silently, she sat on her chair and clicked the mouse, saving the message into her hard drive disk, "I wasn't able to do much but wait, you were always in my dreams, when ever I closed my eyes… I know you can hear me," she switched her computer off and raised her voice to a shout, "Please don't go!" she was aware that her voice sounded desperate and pleading, but she didn't care… she had waited so long… and finally he had come, even thought she couldn't see him just yet, she knew he was there.   
  
He had kept his promise, and now she hoped he'd never leave again.   
  
~ - ~ - ~ - ~   
  
DFA: So, what'd ya think? o.o Think I should continue this? Or leave it here… or what? *Blinks* This was such a short chapter X_x if I continue this I'll make longer chapters, gods. 


	2. I still watch over you

**Unread mail   
By: Dark fire angel**   
  
DFA: I'm back, yup… BE PREPARED!! *Coughs and chokes* Ugh >.o Never try singing and eating at the same time. Anyhow ^^ As people encouraged me to continue, I did so… and viola! Lil chapter *Flails arms* Mah! It's turning into a philosophical fic! *Laughs* Nah, actually, it's just that it has lots of thought in it ^~ that and I wrote it at college break today… *Walks off*   
  
Disclaimer: Yeah yeah… me no own Haku, Chihiro etc… -_-; Sad but true *Twitch* Actually that's one more thing to add to my list of 'things I dun own' *Wail*   
~ - ~ - ~ - ~   
  
Days passed and passed, Chihiro not receiving any kind of notification that Haku was alive... she even had to check into her computer several times during that week to make sure she hadn't just dreamed it all… but sure enough, there was the note still there, saved into her hard disk, intact like the first day. The more she read over her note, the more she wondered why in the nine hells he had notified himself to her through a computer. No real answer to this could be found, and for some strange reason she figured it'd take her longer to figure it out too.   
  
The auburn haired girl shook her head in mock sorrow as she walked back into her room. She was lame… gods… what 1 year old girl longed to receive an e-mail from what could possibly be described as a spirit? No normal girl at least… though, she couldn't care less about that fact. She knew what was real and what wasn't real, and she had noticed that although her spirit world, like she liked to think about it, was real… where as many things in the human world weren't. There was no need to go into detail there, for just thinking about love in her own world made her sick. Love, money, power… all related; sick.   
  
"My Haku," she whispered as she let her backpack fall from her back, shaking her head slightly once more, "You have no idea what love is, do you? No idea what it means…" she paused and frowned, "What does love mean?" she tilted her head, looking around her, almost as if expecting an answer straight away, yet again she waited vainly… no answer came, "Love is… what's love?" she really couldn't help but ask the stupid question again, frowning slightly as she went to turn on her computer, sitting down in her chair.   
  
Chihiro awaited patiently till her screen flashed on, allowing her to access her e-mail.   
  
_No new mail in tray._   
  
A soft sigh escaped her lips as she closed her eyes, trying to force tears back before turning to glare at her screen, "Baka… here I am waiting, what's taking so long?" slightly angry, she clicked into her tray, accessing the first and only mail she had gotten from Haku, "I won't wait anymore, I'm gonna reply," still glaring at the screen, she typed furiously at the keys, replying the e-mail he had first sent.   
  
_I've got a question for all ya out there... to whom ever this e-mail will reach…   
What's love?   
I think generations have tried to answer this question...   
You think they've been able too?   
I'll answer THAT question on my own; no, they haven't. _   
  
She reread what she had written so far and nodded to herself, silently wondering what was really irking her up so much as to write this. She was surprised to discover she did not know… really, she had no idea, for she wasn't the most appropriate person to talk about love at all. Her close friends normally teased her for not having any boyfriends too… not that she didn't want to, but, she felt so cold and empty when she knew she was going out with some other guy. It just didn't feel right, and she didn't care to identify why this was either.   
  
_I'll ask another question then...   
What is it to know? To feel? To KNOW what it is you feel?   
Ok, so shoot me, there's 3 questions, not one.   
Say, so people normally know what it is they're feeling?   
I dun think so, otherwise life wouldn't be so twisted.   
Because believe me, it's twisted... _   
  
Yes it was. Life was twisted… Chihiro normally compared it with a long road, bent and curved, for you never know what may come up, much like one of those old trails you walk or hike. Life had allowed her the opportunity to go to a far new world, a world where she had meet wonderful friends, a world where she had meet him too… and still it got twisted, for after meeting them, there was no way she was ever able to go back to them. Such pity…   
  
_Heaven and hell, two different worlds,   
But do they really exist?   
It would really depend on how you'd describe these places,   
If there's a hell, believe me, I've been there,   
If there's a heaven, you can believe me again, I've also been there,   
And there was no need for me to die to get to these places,   
All it takes is a person willing to take you there...   
Then is when I ask myself if this person knows not only how I'M feeling, but what he is feeling himself... _   
  
"Nah," she glared at her screen, about to change what she had written, for she already knew there were not only two worlds… there were many more than that. There had to be, right? If the spirit world and human world existed, then what kept other worlds from existing too? "Maybe all we do is live a dream and we're not even alive…" however, as she said that, a cool braze entered through her window, making her sigh, "Or maybe not," she felt, she could still remember his touch from so long ago… and that had not been a dream, she was sure of it.   
  
_Why do we have a heart if it can be so easily broken?   
What's the use of trying to make things go this way or that in the meantime?   
When does it all end? Or does it even END?   
Where should I go if I'm lost inside my own soul?   
Who'll be able to rescue me then?   
How will it be done? Wasn't it an impossible task? _   
  
She could still wait, she was patient, it didn't matter yet, she'd look out for him still. He'd come back like he had done once before, "I waited for you," she whispered softly, all her anger evaporating as she closed her eyes, intent on finishing the writing and sending it, for suddenly she felt tired, just as if days had passed since she'd first sat on the computer.   
  
_And you'll live your life asking yourself questions no one will ever be able to answer,   
But before I go, I'll ask one last one; why bother asking if you know no one will answer?   
Yeah, I'll answer myself just for the sake of it; If you don't at least try... then... you'll die with a doubt 'would have this person or someone else, for that matter, been able to answer me?' you'll never know, and it'll be one more question you'll be asking yourself. _   
  
"That's but enough," she mumbled to herself as she clicked the send button, visibly shocked when the e-mail was sent to the person whom had first send her one despite the fact there was no address. She then silently shut down the computer and changed into a her pyjamas, letting herself drop on her bed, for she was very tired at the moment… she felt more tired than she had ever felt in her life for some reason.   
  
It was only way later in the night that she dreamed… the cold wind gushing out of her window and into her room silently as she slept, enveloping her in a comfortable embrace… never letting her freeze, for although cold, it has something a keen to familiar to it, almost like a cold blanket when used on a warm summer night. It was dream like, as was the soft whispering she could almost swear she could hear, soothing and kind, as if talking to a loved one or a child. The win whispered once more, then died out, the feeling of its cool presence replaced by that of another presence, this one more familiar than the one before.   
  
_I said I'd come and I did… no need to worry anymore, I am here._   
  
The words entered her sleeping mind, but registered in it as she cuddled her pillow closer. Maybe the voice was right… she wasn't alone, for how many girls had a spirit watching over her? She had one, she knew she had, and she also knew she wasn't making it up.   
  
Chihiro sighed softly when she felt a soft touch upon her cheek, light and almost inexistent… but it was there, it was real, and it was warm. It was filled with love, and that made was what made her eyes fluster open only to be greeted by darkness. Silently, she sat up and looked around, trying to figure out what kind of a dream she had just lived through, but couldn't, "What? Haku?" she whispered softly, but again was answered by silence… the same silence that answered always when she talked to herself, but she didn't care.   
  
It was only minutes later that she noticed that her computer screen was flashing. Hadn't she shut off the stupid machine before going to bed? She was sure she had… hadn't she? And so, she found herself rolling her eyes and getting out of bed, auburn hair ruffled from sleep and eyes visibly tired when she reached her screen.   
_You have unread mail._   
  
She blinked and rubbed her eyes, then once more stared at the screen, blinking some more, "Mail?" she gulped and sat down on the chair, not caring to turn the lights on as she guided herself into her e-mail tray.   
_You have a total of 1 unread messages in tray._   
  
Again she gulped, clicking on the unread mail, hoping she would read what it was she wanted to read, for it had been a week… all she had to do was reply to get new mail? It seemed so, for her eyes widened when the message opened up for her to see.   
  
_Yesterday was my nightmare... you were not beside me, I couldn't reach you…   
Tomorrow will become my dream, as I'll never know if you'll be with me till the end... I can only hope for that,   
Today is a reality for I have you here with me, I have returned and I'll never leave your side again.   
  
~ Kohaku   
  
It took all of Chihiro's will of heart to not cry like a little girl, for she realized that although she couldn't see him, he was there, she had doubted, but she was wrong… he was there still, always there… now the real question was, how to reach him?   
  
~ - ~ - ~ - ~   
  
DFA: Uh, yup ^^ end of chap *Does a V sign and winks* Ne, ne! How'd ya like? Good? Need to change something? ^^ Or any questions? *Grins* I'll be back… _


	3. We meet again

**Unread mail   
By: Dark fire angel**   
  
DFA: *Is doing her final exams, but still, can't stop writing fics* >_>   
~ - ~ - ~ - ~   
  
The wind was harsh and it blew past the desolate street, almost as if trying to push the trees over in its might and fury, and through this weather a dark haired boy walked, hands tucked inside his jeans. One could tell his expression was sober as he allowed the gusts of wind to play with his hair, which swayed with motion, "Wish I could touch you, hold you for real…" he whispered to the silence around him closing his eyes in order to sigh, "But I can't seem to reach you, no matter how much I try," he reopened his eyes to reveal a stunning green as he reached a certain house, standing under one of the windows.   
  
Haku had crossed the barrier that separated both worlds; both the spirit world and the human world… but still it hadn't been enough, try as he might he had only been but a ghost, a memory, a soul without a body in her world. He had come to her like he had promised, but she never saw him, and although he was certain she could actually tell he was there, it wasn't enough, "My energy is not enough," he couldn't help but hiss slightly into the night as he directed his gaze up to the window, knowing who was sleeping inside, but also knowing he was unable to reach her.   
  
All he could do was watch over her, cringing at the thought of her being alone, waiting for him but never seeing him… it had been almost too much to bear, but it had been worth it, for one day he came up with the solution; if ghosts were able to 'touch' things, push them… poke them with mental power, then so should he. He had practiced pushing cans with his mind power, prodding at them with his fingers, allowing the nergy to flow through them till he had been able to move the cans… it had taken him quite a while, but soon after, he was not only able to move cans, but doors, furniture… he had even managed to type with a keyboard, pressing the keys with his will power till they wrote messages.   
  
However, each time he did this, his power was worn out… and he had to rest, so it had been impossible to communicate much at all with her, "Curse the barrier," he muttered as he closed his eyes, suddenly levitating from the ground in order to reach the window he had been watching from below, "Curse it over and over again…" he knew his voice could not reach her, but he didn't mind… as long as he was able to let her know he was near, nothing mattered, and with this thought in mind, he went through the closed window easily, landing inside her room.   
  
There she was, asleep still in her bed, such a sight to see… and still he couldn't do much but watch her, which made it frustrating for him, "Chihiro?" he sat on the bed, drifting his hand through her hair, knowing that to her it must have felt almost like a caress done by the drifting wind, "I know you can't hear me… I know you can't see me," he said through gritted teeth as he continued to run his hand through her hair, noting that she was now fidgeting slightly in her sleep, almost as if she were about to wake up, "But still I'll try, I swear I won't leave your side… there's no where else I'd rather be now, I'm free," he actually cringed as he said the word 'free', for he knew that it was a term he had used a bit lightly.   
  
_Free would be to be able to be more than a mere ghost... to be able to hold you close, to tell you how much you mean to me._ His thoughts bothered him and he could do little but push them down deep inside, as they were too true for him to bear right now, "I'll stay here," he said more to himself than to her.   
  
Haku was about to stand up to leave when suddenly, the auburn haired girl's eyes shoot open, almost as if in response to losing the caresses he had been giving her. She sat up in her bed, eyes burrowing directly into the spirit's self, "Haku?" her words were whispered as she held out a hand, allowing it to go through him, and it was only then that he noticed she could actually see him.   
  
As stupid as it may sound, all he could do as she stared at him was nod dumbly, letting her to move her hand up and down through him, "Hai, must I repeat that I told you I'd come?" when he spoke, his voice came out worn and tired, as if he were making a great physical effort. Why could she see him? It was bugging him… he wanted to know, and he'd do anything to find out.   
  
"I know you'd come," she felt a trail of hot tears slide down her cheek as she observed him, noting that despite the fact he was barely visible, he hadn't changed much. He still had that spark within that had attracted her to him, he still had those eyes that seemed to shine with knowledge… he was still Haku, "Why are you… like this?" she ran a hand over her eyes, brushing her own tears away, but when she receive an answer from him she was forced to look up again, "Haku?"   
  
The spirit was silent, looking down at his hands, still sitting down on the bed, "I suppose it is due to the fact this isn't my world any more…" he whispered as he closed his eyes, allowing a sigh to escape his lips, "My river does not exist either… I am only a ghost here, a memory of what I once was," all this was straining him further then touching objects, and he had no idea how much longer he'd last before he lost all his power, "I… don't know why you can see me know when you couldn't do so barely days ago," he continued as he reopened his eyes to look up at her, noting that her tears were once more trailing down her cheeks, and she was doing nothing to brush them away, "But I do not care, all I can tell you is that I'm here, always shall, so don't forget that," his hand found his way up to her face and he attempted to brush the tears away, failing rather miserably.   
  
It was then that Chihiro noticed him vanishing from sight, "No!" she gasped and flung her arms around his figure, but ended up embracing air, emptiness, "No…" she dropped to her knees, still on the bed as she closed her eyes, trying to choke back her tears in an attempt to not look weak, however, no one could blame her if at the moment she seemed vulnerable. What if he never came back now? What if he had now really left for good? What if this had all been a dream?   
  
Fighting with her own self, the auburn haired girl laid down on the bed once more, covering herself up whilst hugging her pillow to herself… for the pillow was there, present, tangible, where as **he** wasn't. Those were her stray thought as she closed her eyes once more, falling asleep almost instantly, now not certain if it had all been a dream or not, nor did her mind care at the moment either… she was so tired.   
  
It was not till much later on, way past morning that Chihiro woke up, grumbling slightly when she noticed her muscled seemed sore, "Dream…" she closed her eyes as she sat up in bed once more, shaking her head, almost as if trying to convince herself that it had in fact all been a dream, but not even her subconscious would allow her to think this way, "But it was all a dream… what else could it had been?" she reopened her eyes once more, rubbing at them tiredly before she focused them on the computer screen, which was once more blinking, letting her know that it was on once more…   
  
She rubbed at her eyes once more, afraid that maybe she was still dreaming, but after focusing her eyes once more, the computer screen was still blinking, taunting her to come nearer to check it out, and thus, what else could she do but stand and walk over to it?   
  
_You have unread mail in tray_   
  
That stupid phrase taunted her so much… yet still, she could not help but take a deep breathe in, clicking the tray open, searching for that unread piece of mail… for that was what it was; mail, nothing more… it was not something one could touch, and so, it was not 'real', now was it? However, this did not seem to matter to her, nor did it register in her mind either, all she knew was that this piece of non-reality had brought her more happiness than many other things.   
  
_Yesterday was my nightmare... you were not beside me, I was left alone,   
Tomorrow will become my dream, as I'll never know if I'll be allowed to keep you with me till the end... I can only hope for that,   
Today is a reality for I have you here with me, I have returned, does hope for a future exist?_   
  
She stared at the screen for a while, then closed her eyes, shaking her head in mock sorrow, "There is always hope for the future…"   
  
~ - ~ - ~ - ~   
  
DFA: *Pause* … >>;; *Sneaks off and away, leaving the chapter there* 


End file.
